Monday, 29 December 2014

The first time

The first time I painted
It was a silver brush that painted red.

The first time I painted
I felt alive for a little while.

The first time I painted
I thought I was in control.

The first time I painted
Was never my last.

The first time I painted
A monster I became.

The last time I painted
I died that night.

The last time I painted
I had no other fright.

Friday, 26 December 2014

Happy holidays

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!!!

Hope you have a wonderful time!!

Sunday, 14 December 2014

Hospitalized

I'm just gonna say it so everyone knows.

I'm suffering from depression.

I have anxiety and OCD and have suffered from eating disorders in the past. I self-harm.

I just need everyone to know that I'm in the hospital for the third time and don't know when I'll be out and back into society again.

Take care, everyone.

Hope you all understand.

Leni-Anne Blacker (NightNerd)

Friday, 17 October 2014

Guardian Angel

I have a guardian angel,
He came from Above.
He helps me sleep soundly,
His love, oh, His love.
His name is Angel,
His hair is fire.
His laugh is music,
His hugs are divine.
Kissing him is Heaven,
Loving him is God.
I have a guardian angel,
He came from Above.







Hey guys, I have a boyfriend and his name is Angelo. A direct translation to English would be the word "Angel." He's my hero and has saved me so many times, I've lost count. I absolutely love him, there's no doubt about it.

Thank you, Angelo...

For everything.

Sunday, 10 August 2014

One Hero More

Hey guys! How are you all?

I've started a band. Today.

We consist of five people. I'm the pianist and I write lyrics, maybe sing backup.

We're called One Hero More.

What do you think?

We'll be doing covers of songs and producing our own!

All of these will be going on YouTube for public viewing. I hope you like them!

Thanks,
NightNerd

Monday, 30 June 2014

How?

How many tears would I have to let fall?
How many nights will I cry out?
How many days will I stand alone?
How many times can I stand strong?

How much love do I have left?
How much sadness fills my heart?
How much pain can I have?
How much strain is this love?

How do I know of this sickness?
How do I disappear?
How do I get away from this hell?
How do I just let go?

How can I just go on?
How can I be myself?
How can I love anyone?
How can anything be done?


Wish Upon A Star

Wishing on a star
Is so very far.
Wanting to make your dreams come true
Is something all humans do.
But when that wish comes true
You have nothing left to do.
So you wish on someone's heart
Hoping you don't fall apart.
They may wish for you
And miss you too.
If you're love is strong
Then you have wished upon a star.


Friday, 28 March 2014

How much do I love the dead? - An Original Song


I get on with life as a student,
I'm a stunning kinda person.
I like singing on Sundays,
I like helping others in the week.
I like to contemplate the living.
But when I start to daydream,
My mind turns straight to the dead.

Oh oh oh!

Sometimes I look at myself and people look into my eyes,
I notice the way I think about the dead with a smile,
Curved lips I just can't disguise.
But I think it's the living making my life worthwhile.
Why is it so hard for me to decide which I love more?
The Living or...
The Dead?

I like to use words like 'fantastic,'
I like to use words like 'brilliant.'
I like to use words about the living.
But when I stop my talking,
My mind turns straight to the dead.

Oh oh oh!


Sometimes I look at myself and people look into my eyes,
I notice the way I think about the dead with a smile,
Curved lips I just can't disguise.
But I think it's the living making my life worthwhile.
Why is it so hard for me to decide which I love more?
The Living or...
The Dead?

I like to hang out with James,
I like to kick back with Matt,
But when left alone,
My mind turns straight to the dead.

Oh oh oh!

Sometimes I look at myself and people look into my eyes,
I notice the way I think about the dead with a smile,
Curved lips I just can't disguise.
But I think it's the living making my life worthwhile.
Why is it so hard for me to decide which I love more?
The Living or...
The Dead?

I'm not too fond of life,
I really hate love,
But I just think back to the dead,
And I'm happy once again.

Oh oh oh!


Sunday, 23 March 2014

Mental Illnesses


Now, before you continue reading, I know I don't usually post this sort of stuff, and I usually just stick to writing stories and poems, but I had to write this for English class, and I'm quite proud of it and think it should be shared. So please read the whole thing, it would mean a hell of a lot to me. <3 Thanks in advance!


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Mental Illnesses

Have you or anyone you know ever been affected by a mental illness? Mental illnesses are increasing at an alarming rate throughout the world. My argument in this public speaking is that people who are affected by mental illnesses need more help, more support and more resources. In this public speech, I will inform you about people who need more resources for their mental illnesses and why they need those resources, the ways that society views mental illnesses, and ways to help people who suffer from any sort of mental illness or mental health condition.

Many people suffer from a mental disorder, which can affect them and the people around them. One in five people in Canada will experience a mental illness or mental health condition. Mental health illnesses can include: depression, anxiety disorders, OCD, eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa, personality disorders, schizophrenia and many, many more.

People with a mental illness have various ways of dealing with their problems. A lot do no know how to ask for help and do not think that they are worth being helped.

Self-harm is a major issue and many people will turn to that instead of taking the right steps to recovery, as they don’t know any other way to seek help. Self-harm is dangerous and is common in adolescence and young adulthood. Roughly 4000 people die every year in Canada by committing suicide, most having a mental illness.

Society has a very difficult time accepting people who are suffering from a mental illness. “The mentally ill continue to receive negative attention, largely due to fear and prejudice. People who suffer from mental illness are often pushed to the fringes of, or are directly excluded from, society,” says Kismet Baun, Senior Communications Advisor at the Canadian Mental Health Association, in Ontario.

Many of you have probably heard of the unfortunate events like Amanda Todd’s story and many other people that become affected by a mental illness. After having committed suicide, there were more than one million likes on her Facebook memorial page.

Though many people were upset by her death, a lot complained about why so much attention was directed at only “bigger” stories like hers, and why couldn’t there be memorials for all people instead of just one.

Although resources are available to people suffering from a mental health issue, I believe we should be offered more from the government.

The National Institute of Mental Health states that, “Medications treat the symptoms of mental disorders. They cannot cure the disorder, but they make people feel better so they can function.”

Many websites and telephone hotlines exist to help anyone who is in need of guidance or help with a mental issue. Popular support groups include: Tel-jeunes, Suicide Action Montreal, and more prevention and aid resources.

Something I believe we need is to have people become more aware of the situation that is mental illnesses. We should be able to have more help offered to us as students, such as more resources like therapy and counselors that are trained to deal with someone who is suffering. More public services should be put into place, free and available to anyone who needs the help they deserve.

When people don’t feel secure and safe with the resources they have, they tend to seek other advice or help. For that reason, the government needs to step up and offer more, no matter the expenses. A healthy population should be a priority.

Many people would be against me in my argument, saying that a mental illness such as depression or anxiety isn’t a “real” medical problem that needs to be treated and taken care of. Most people, who hear the words “mental illness”, will usually avoid the conversation, as they do not feel comfortable talking about it or are confused about the subject.

People who don’t open up to the topic of a mental illness will not be able to comprehend what is going on in our society and they will not be able to help anyone who is suffering with a mental illness.

In conclusion, I talked about who needs help and why, what society thinks of mental illnesses and needing more resources to help those who suffer.

The Canadian Mental Health Association says that, “A disease of the mind is like a disease of the body. No one chooses the illness and with proper assessment, treatment and support, recovery is possible. It’s time to stop treating diseases of the mind differently than diseases of the body. It’s time to start treating people.”

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

New Year

And so 2013 has come and gone,
It's left us here,
All alone.
Surrounded by people
That we hardly know,
We jump in glee
At the chance of new hope.
For New Years Day
Is time to celebrate.
A fresh new time
To start again.
We can be who we want
and shine oh so bright.
But let's not jump ahead
and take a step back.
Remember our mistakes,
The good stuff,
The bad.
Recall every lesson learnt,
and try not to get hurt.

Let us hope for the best. Stay strong. I'm proud of you for making it this far <3 Keep going. You've got this!

Xoxo,
Leni-Anne